Parents…You have life as well…

Dear Parent, YOU HAVE A LIFE TOO!

With the numbers of SAD parents and HAPPY children rising EXPONENTIALLY, Parents must NORMALIZE some basics of SELF-CARE.

Modern Parents must NORMALIZE taking care of themselves as they take care of their children. Neglecting self-care consciously or unconsciously WILL NOT bring the best outcome in the dynamic and challenging parenting journey.

Missing life to make a life can turn out as a zero sum game if anything goes against ones expectations - this happens often when children whose parents have given them their all fail to IMPRESS and end up being a bother when they should be offering support or at least independent.

It is a misconception that parents can only start having  a fulfilled life after they are done with parenting - does parenting even end? Many think that parenting ends after launching out or weaning the 'kids' - but not at all! It just takes a different look, and demands different approach. Parenting can or is a lifetime task.

A balance between building the self and raising great children is doable! It can be done but it must be intentional and very tactical because it is not easy due to the social and mental expectations.

Effective Parenting ought to be part of a parent's lifestyle! One does not need to stop living his or her GOOD life because they are Parenting- these are not mutually exclusive processes.

Parents MUST respond positively, proportionately and aptly to their physical, emotional, social, mental, spiritual and professional needs without feeling like they are doing a big wrong or injustice to their children. And remember, today's child demands the wants and the needs, and the attention. This can be draining and bring a sorry state of things for the parents- some have felt eternally inadequate to their children neediness. Scare the FEAR and start the BALANCE. Be good to self not too HARD self - you the engine and if it stops, much stops.

Brokenness in parent(s) can have a ripple effect on the children or / and easily turn families dysfunctional! Today, I have witnessed many parents who have stopped living to make their children live...and from a counselling point of view, this may cause more harm than good because emotionally and mentally broken parent has a high likelihood of raising weak children. A physically weak parent is at risk of making the child his or her caretaker prematurely. Your body is your garden. Sacrifice is great but too much unnecessary sacrifice will live you without more to give.

Be strong! Be Empowered! Be Resilient...And raise your odds of witnessing your kids success - (Holding factors constant)

Be responsible with self.

Be kind to self.

Be your greatest friend.

Cheer yourself up.

Keep refreshing yourself.

Equip yourself for life's hard tackles.

Seek help if need be.

Better light a candle than curse darkness. Do that little thing for yourself as a parent. It makes a huge difference.

Quick reminders:

• There is joy in parenting.
• Parenting is not for cowards.
• Parenting is not a natural process; it is a choice.
• Parenting is hard, not the gravity's free fall.
• Parenting is a unique task with no mandatory manual.

So, RELAX and do it!

Truly, you really have to love yourself to get ANYTHING done in this world - Love for self makes everything fall in line.

#STRONGPARENTS #STRONGCHILDREN

 ©️ Samuel Kanja

Psychologist & Life Coach

0729 368 307

www.ultimateexcellence.co.ke