12 Parenting Mistakes Parents Must Watch Out For!

12 PARENTING Mistakes to WATCH OUT for...

Neglecting to Fix Problems - failing to act when most appropriate just makes the issues overwhelming and creates Parenting emergencies. Do not wait for a message (red flag) to be a mess for you to get into action. Parenting is a connected process that demands a flow.

Not Understanding that Every Child is Different - failure to identify the unique qualities of every child may lead to over reliant on ineffective approaches. An intervention can work for one but fail with another. The issue sometimes is not the method but the subject.

Over Protection and Providing Without Prudence - children need care but that care must not make the parent carefree. Every action ought to be objectively moderated. Overprotection can turn into unconscious abuse.

Losing Control too Early - a balance of control and authority is needed to avoid the extremes of authoritarian or permissive parenting styles. Adopting authoritative style increases the odds of having secure, responsible and much resilient children.

Having NO Boundaries - parents need to create functional and healthy boundaries aimed at creating a conducive environment of growth and development. Lack of this may lead to toxic parenting which denies children the space to be, belong and become. Be the great parent, great friendship will follow.

Being Disorganised and Inconsistent - order is very important in parenting as it helps inculcate responsibility and accountability. Lack of it can lead to over entitlement and looseness of behaviour. Family rules bring forth family values. Do not keep becoming perennially unpredictable in your way of parenting - it can be confusing.

Being the Source of Discouragement - children rely on their parent's affirmations even when they are not consciously mature to demand for it. When the opposite happens, then self-esteem and confidence is adulterated - this leads to lost sense of self and identity crisis.

Shame-filled Bad Manners - when parents directly do what is disrespectful in front of their children, it creates unwanted shitty values that are not easily reversible. Children will tend to convince themselves that if mom or dad are doing this, what's wrong with me doing it? Keep your filth away from your children.

Not Dealing with Sibling Rivalry - when children become fighters in the house, it destroys the core of the family subsystems and divides the attention as well as weakening the synergy that would help them be interdependent emotionally, socially and mentally.

Unrealistic Expectations - having no expectations, little expectations or exaggerated expectations can lead to complacency, laziness and emotional fatigue respectively. Expectations ought to be matched to a particular child with a goal to both support and challenge them within their ability and capacity.

Absence or Undependable Presence - Children yearn for quality time with their parents or guardians. One’s presence must be reliable and useful else the quantity of time spent may not be of any influence. Be there and let every moment count.

Not Showing the Way - As a parent, most likely you got to become what you are because your parents showed you the way...why not do the same without reservations to your children. Show them the way to spirituality, relationships, careers, good living, savings, investments and value based education...your luck may not be their luck.

©️Samuel Kanja

Life Coach & Counselling Psychologist

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